I love to shop. But as an Empath, it can be draining to spend more than an hour at the mall. So, in recent years, I’ve really enjoyed online shopping.
As I deepened my spiritual path, I realized I wanted to fill my home and life with more meaningful items that make me feel good. And as a Libra, my mantra has always been, “I am surrounded by beauty.” So, it makes perfect sense that the items I buy look pretty, inspiring, and evoke a positive feeling for me.
I decided to build a collection of conscious jewelry, brighten up my sacred space/spiritual altar in my home, and occasionally indulge in things that truly reflect my style, my personality, and even my archetype as a Modern Goddess.
I am happy to share with you a few of my favorite things:
I love Tiny Devotions’ mala beads and bracelets! I find their malas are so beautiful! What I also love is their willingness to not assume a future customer is familiar with malas, so Tiny Devotions educates you on topics like:
I also really love the Mala Collective! So many beautiful options to choose from: necklaces, bracelets, scarves, candles, and so much more. PLENTY to choose from to build your sacred space and/or spiritual alter, and enrich your spiritual practice.
Note: I am an affiliate for Mala Collective. If you want to see other items I recommend as an affiliate (I’ll make a small commission from your purchase), click the Shop menu.
Spirit Mist is a smokeless smudge in a bottle, created by an amazing Reiki Master, Rhonda Lee. Smudging is the the act of burning dried or fresh plants to clear negative energy from either a closed space or your subtle energy (auras, chakras). It’s an ancient practice that is still in use today. Smudging can be a challenge for Empaths like me, who travel often, and cannot burn and allow smoke in public areas like airports or on a plane. So the ability to whip out a bottle of my Spirit Mist and clear my energy at will is HUGE! I also find it very helpful when I have back-to-back healing sessions, and want to clear my energy before treating the next client.
Mayan Rose Shop
It’s always best to shop for your crystals and gemstones in person, to feel the energy of each and observe which ones you are naturally drawn to.
But if you don’t have a crystal shop nearby, there’s always Instagram and Etsy! I love to shop for my crystals by what inspires me on Instagram, where everything is so beautifully laid out. See for yourself, check out Mayan Rose for crystals and gemstones – it’s hard not to go crazy!
I have a little secret: I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo. But I have concerns with marking my body permanently with potentially toxic ink. Flash Tattoos have solved this problem by creating temporary tattoos that are non-toxic and safe for anyone to wear – they last about 4-6 days.
Now, the question is, which tattoo best represents your archetype? Wanderlust? Beyonce? Bohemian Child of the Wild?
The Little Sage Oracle Cards
I only use oracle cards in my spiritual practice and also in my business as a spiritual life coach and energy healer.
This is the main deck I use regularly, mainly because I find my clients LOVE the readings I give from this deck most of all. I love the simple, modern, clean feel to this deck.
This deck is so rich and vibrant, and I love the way it blends mystique with a modern, bold, and feminine feel. I like to pull these occasionally, just to mix things up.
Divine Love Deck
I am so thrilled to have participated in the creation of this deck. Check out my Modern Goddess of Power card above!
OMG, I just ordered this deck, and it has yet to arrive. I can barely contain my excitement! I’ll keep you posted once I crack this baby open!
Want to shop for other decks? I found Ethony’s tarot and oracle deck review to be really insightful!
Child of the Wild
Are you a wild child? A bohemian, Gypset type that likes to wear jewelry that evokes “historical art movements and cultural rituals and ideals”? Eileen Lofgren has a full line of jewelry that gives credit to the “cultures, tribes, artists” who inspired them. I love that!
If Satya is good enough for a Modern Goddess like Marie Forleo, it’s good enough for you and me too! I’m in love with this gold cuff, which features an intricate mandala, a form of sacred geometry.
Want to keep up with my latest obsessions? Follow me on Instagram where I share my life, my loves, and my Modern Goddess lifestyle.
Give me the scoop – what are your favorite current obsessions?
Hello Beautiful Modern Goddess!
I’ve missed you. I’m back after a short sabbatical, a break used to get away, renew, and refresh the body, mind, and soul.
I’m feeling brand new. AND, I have some GREAT news…
I’m finally HEALED!!!
After three years and what felt like an eternity of almost constant pain, I no longer have that constant nagging aching pain in my lower back. This pain started back in 2012 in my root chakra, when I began yoga teacher certification training. It got worse the more I tried to fix it. During that time, I tried so many alternative remedies, that I eventually gave up and had exploratory surgery in 2014.
No More PAIN.
I was so glad to finally have some relief! Shorter periods, no more heavy bleeding and a much tolerable cycle. But then, once the doctor cleared me for exercise, BAM. Back to the ER I go, and I am back in a whole new world of pain: the pain shifted from my root to sacral chakra. Mother$#@!
It took bi-weekly acupuncture visits and months of chiropractic adjustments for me to realize that while the surgery fixed one thing, it “broke another” so to speak. Scar tissue. Son-of-a-gun.
Well, long story short, all that pain is behind me. I quietly surrendered to the pain, and intuitively knew that the only reason the pain persisted was because my healing wasn’t fully complete. Which really pissed me off when I was in the throes agony, curled up in a ball and crying on the bathroom floor, begging Spirit for relief. Then I began the healing process all over again. Rinse and repeat. I had been through this before, so I knew exactly what to do.
My answer: continue working on releasing blocked painful emotions in my chakras, continue self-reiki healing, surrender to the possibility that for ALL the healing, growing, releasing that I had done in the past 3 years, I still had a bit more work to be done before my body had released all the pain I had experienced from birth up to my mid 20s. I still had yet another layer to peel back in the metaphorical onion of pain built up in my body from years of sexual, emotional, mental abuse I experienced early in life. I’m honored and thankful for my entire journey, and I’m so happy to share what I’ve learned with you.
Where Do Your Painful Emotions Go?
When we experience pain, if you don’t process and release it with positive, loving intention, where does it go? Where does all that bottled up low vibration emotions and feelings of anger, rage, sadness, jealousy, depression go? NOWHERE. It stays RIGHT where you put it: in your BODY. Everything in the Universe is energy. We all consist of not just the physical form we can see with our eyes, but also subtle energy – matter in the base form of molecules, vibrating at varying frequencies, speeds. Emotions are energy in the form of information – and we all have felt the full range of emotions. Love and excitement are high vibration emotions that lift you up and energize you, apathy or anger can pull you down. The negative, or low vibration emotions we feel in the mind gets trapped in the body, if we don’t process and release it.
How to Release Painful Emotions
If you’re feeling stuck in career, relationships, have money or health issues, or feel like your prayers are just not getting answered, these are all signs you could have blocked emotions. Lucky for you, I have the solution, a step-by-step system of how to release this stagnant energy and feel better, so you can live life to its fullest!
This is going to sound counter-intuitive, but give thanks for your pain. It’s our natural instinct to avoid pain, because it is so uncomfortable. But pain and discomfort – even dis-ease is how adults grow. Only babies grow in comfort zones. Adults can too, but we are hard-wired to learn the most when we feel pain. Emotional and physical pain is energy in the form of information – valuable information we need in order to move forward. If we don’t have that information, how can we know what next step to take to make our lives better, to further our personal development and growth, or evolve into a higher level of consciousness?
I like to categorize problems in three major areas: Body, Mind, or Soul/Spirit. So, for example, is it a physical issue you’re having? Is it mental/emotional, or is it a spiritual disconnect?
Body and Emotional Pain
Alternative medicine therapist using a pendulum to scan chakras for energy blocks
If it’s a Body emotional pain, like maybe you’re having constant headaches, stomach upset, or high blood pressure, then pinpoint what area of the body is affected.
From a physical standpoint, balance is achieved when you feed your body proper nutrition, get enough rest, body movement, water, sunshine, fresh air, and a natural outlet of creative self-expression. When you are out of balance, you no longer feel at ease in your body, you feel dis-ease.
From a subtle energy standpoint, that would tell you which chakra is blocked, and then you can get support with reiki, essential oils, crystals, meditation, or other resources in what I call the “Modern Goddess Life Toolkit” to release blocked energy in that specific chakra.
For example, if your root chakra is blocked, then you could wear more red clothing (a red scarf, red shoes, red earrings, etc.) as a form of color therapy. You could try flower essences, or essential oils such as bergamot, clary sage, lavender, or geranium to balance your root chakra. Getting some body work can be incredibly therapeutic: massage, reflexology, acupressure, acupuncture, even a hug or simple head rub can give you relief from emotional pain. In fact, receiving regular body work is a basic part of self-care, and during times of emotional pain, you should give yourself permission to double, even triple your doses of TLC!
Want a learn more about balancing your chakras?
Head over to our Sacred Sisterhood of the Modern Goddess private Facebook group!
Mind and Emotional Pain
Woman with anxiety
If it’s a Mind emotional pain, like you’re self-sabotaging your efforts to save money by hitting up every sale at Nordstrom, or you’re trying to manifest abundance, but you feel jealous when you see other friends doing well, then you may have limiting or false beliefs. Or perhaps you’re constantly overwhelmed or stressed, and feel as if life has you on an emotional roller coaster.
Every thought we hold on a consistent level forms beliefs. We are taught what to believe by our parents, by religious leaders, by the school system, by media outlets such as movies, TV, CNN, and in the last decade, by internet-based social media like Facebook and Twitter.
All these beliefs makeup our intricate sub-conscious belief system. Interestingly enough, 20% of our thoughts come from our conscious, and 80% of our thoughts come from our subconscious. And most of the beliefs that get hard-wired into our brain are formed by the time we are 6 years old.
Barry Gordon, professor of neurology and cognitive science at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, wrote on Scientific American, “Our awareness only sets the start and the end of a goal but leaves the implementation to unconscious mental processes.”
It seems that we are mostly running on autopilot, with our subconscious in the driver’s seat of our life, influencing our daily decisions and actions. So, if you’re constantly eating ice cream and pizza when you KNOW you’re lactose-intolerant and gluten-sensitive, perhaps you’re not consciously self-sabotaging yourself, you just have a false belief that you don’t deserve to be fit and healthy, or maybe you are hiding from being your best self because you fear being in the spotlight if you finally no longer have weight as an obstacle. Or maybe you’re addicted to online celebrity gossip because you feel you’ll never have a richly rewarding life. Once those beliefs are formed, it takes a conscious effort to shift toward more positive, expansive beliefs that are aligned with what we truly desire in life. So, emotional pain that stem from mind challenges are best resolved by working on your belief system.
Emotions start in the body, and live in the body, unless we take action to process, heal, and release the emotions in the body.
Bodily topography of basic emotions
Soul/Spirit and Emotional Pain
If you are experiencing emotional pain, or feel blocked in either the body, mind, or soul/spirit areas of your life, know that there is a reason for it. Be thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow. Instead of smothering, dismissing, or burying your emotional pain, give it your FULL, undivided attention. Use the resources around you to give you some comfort and relief as you go through it. Get the support you need from professionals who are trained and qualified to help you. Don’t rush the process, instead, surrender to it. Suspend judgement, blame, and know this isn’t happening TO you, but rather, FOR and BECAUSE of you. Lift your vibrations. Stay open to receive, absorb, expand, and heal. Hang in there, Modern Goddess. You can and WILL get through this.
Before you go, I have an update – more good news!
I’m Certified as a LifeForce Energy Chakra Healer!
As a part of my lifelong learning, I completed another stepping stone in my path towards Mastery in spiritual development, so I can be of better service you – not just as a holistic Integrative Nutrition Health and Life coach, but also as a spiritual and subtle energy healer. I am working behind the scenes to restructure the way clients can work with me, in a way that feels more soul-centered. I will soon announce my new offerings, that will include the following, to help you build a custom lifestyle blueprint, so you design a life you love, one where you feel sexy, rich, and powerful as a Modern Goddess. Stay tuned for new Body+Mind+Soul private and group program coaching, and online programs that include:
- Chakra, aura, and energy readings and assessments
- Herbal and essential oil consultations
- Reiki subtle energy healing for emotional and physical stress
- Intuitive, spiritual coaching
Does Getting Good Advice Really Work?
As a health and life coach, You’ve heard the sayings:
There’s no shortcut to losing weight. Eat light & healthy. Exercise frequently. Get good sleep. Burn more calories than you consume. Balance work and play. Manage your stress levels.
I could go on. And there’s good advice everywhere. We get advice from our family, friends, our doctor. We read health tips from magazines, and from the Self Help section of the bookstore. We are subscribed to emails and blogs (like this super awesome blog post you’re reading now! ). We even see all kinds of inspirational quotes, funny memes, and good tips on all the social media sites: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, and the like.
But let’s get honest here: what is all that good advice really doing for us? If we really do take heed and make changes, does it last for very long?
I’m gonna guess that’s also a big fat NO. Well, it’s not because you’re not one smart cookie. It’s because real change doesn’t happen at the conscious level, because conscious thoughts are not what drive us to take positive action for REAL change in our lives. No, that’s not the way it works, my sweet Goddess.
I’m about to share something with you that I paid thousands of dollars in high-level coaching programs to learn:
There is a 1:1 relationship between our core beliefs and our actions.
For example, let’s say you really want to stop smoking, but every day around 2pm like clockwork, you find yourself standing outside your workplace, lighting up a new one. Maybe you’ve tried all kinds of herbs, potions, and patches, but nothing seems to stick. Inevitably, despite your best efforts, you are drawn to cigarettes like moths to a flame. You’ve tried meditating, distracting yourself with trying new habits, but nothing works.
OR, maybe you’re addicted to donuts. Pizza (Cheese is actually more addictive than sugar. Go figure. ) Or maybe you hate to work out, even though you know you need to lose weight.
Well, regardless of what your addiction is, or what health goal you struggle with, you’re probably thinking it’s self-sabotage. Not necessarily. See, there’s actually NO SUCH THING as self-sabotage. From a holistic health perspective, we all love ourselves unconditionally, on a subconscious level. And we serve ourselves by acting out 100% based on our core beliefs.
So, whatever it is that you experience in life is consistent with your core beliefs. And what is a belief? A belief is a thought you hold consistently. So how long does it take before a consistent thought becomes a belief? Well, my friend, it really depends on the person, and the space we create to allow shifts to happen. As a point of reference, it takes roughly 28 days to make or break a habit. Let’s start there and jump backwards, start at a base level; our thoughts. (I could go deeper than that, and get into your DNA, pre-birth events, alchemy, sacred soul contracts and such, but for now, we’ll just start with our thoughts.)
- Over 90% of our thoughts are negative.
- Thoughts form into beliefs.
- Beliefs 100% drive our actions. Most beliefs we hold are firmly rooted by the time we’re 6 years old. We spend most of our life acting out on those beliefs.
- Actions held consistently over 28 days either break old habits or form new habits.
- Habits held over 3-6 months yield lasting, life transformation. And that’s the gold: blissful life transformation!
Some beliefs can change instantly. Some beliefs are so deeply rooted, from traumatic experiences, from personal struggles, societal messages, from family, from school, etc. What you experienced as a young child doesn’t just get locked away. Those early formative years, you were a sponge, making every little and big moment mean something about you, and how you relate to your world.
Well, what does that mean to you today? It means real change happens when you decide to change what you believe. It’s that simple. But…it’s not always simple to change, at least not on your own. Sometimes you need help. The best help doesn’t always come in good advice from a book or magazine, or even from a friend or loved one. You can even try telling yourself to believe something, but that doesn’t make you believe it. And that’s where coaching comes in.
THIS IS WHY I BECAME
A TRANSFORMATIONAL LIFE COACH
Because over the past 12 years, forasmuch as I was helping clients make real change in their lives, I wanted it to STICK. If I work with a client and they come back to me with the same problem, I knew their fundamental beliefs hadn’t changed. And I needed the tools to help my clients bridge the gap between knowing and doing…long-term. And now I have those tools, using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and other belief-changing coaching tools via Transformational Coaching. That’s where the REAL work is done. That’s where we must focus our attention.
Now, back to the cigarettes. I know for sure there’s that whole addiction thing. That’s real. But biochemistry aside, there’s another level going on here: a belief that in order to stop smoking, I must give up XYZ. And what is XYZ? Well, it depends on the person. That could be the friends or coworkers who also take smoke breaks – what will they think? What will they say? Will they still accept me as a peer? Will I still fit in? Questions like these represent Life Ecology, or what we think we have to trade in order to have what we want.
The power of ecology is strong, and a bigger motivator than most realize. And unless you are able to really dig deep and find out what hidden beliefs lurk in the subconscious of your mind, you will continue to blame your lack of progress or change on self-sabotage. And the blame game will serve you well in terms of making you feel bad. But blame and guilt will never help you make change. And the sad thing is, most people carry blame and guilt as if there is valor in suffering. But at the end of the day, it’s just a waste of time and energy.
One more thing…when it comes to getting advice, especially unsolicited advice (isn’t that always fun?) from family, friends and colleagues:
Most People Listen to Respond,
Not To Understand.
I am always able to openly receive messages when I feel heard and truly listened to. I seek advice for things like how to resolve technical issues or Do-It-Yourself home care. But when it comes to making personal growth and shifts, I seek affirmation that I have the tools to figure it out. I trust my own internal wisdom will reveal itself in the process. The best support is not telling someone what to do, but rather inspiring them with confidence to figure it out themselves – assume they already know the answer. This is how I approach my work, I assume the client knows the answer, it’s my job to ask the right questions and use coaching techniques to support them in releasing false non-serving beliefs, and create space for developing new beliefs that support their deepest desires.
Okay, in the spirit of the upcoming holidays, let’s wrap this up and put a big bow on top, shall we? Here’s what I’ll leave you with:
Invention is the Mother of Necessity. And pain is the best motivator. But unless your Core Beliefs and Life Ecology (what you give up to change) supports change, it won’t happen.
How to change:
- Instead of seeking advice, get quiet and learn to trust your intuition – Meditating is a great way to do this.
- Stop focusing on what you DON’T want (by complaining), instead, focus on the end goal/what you DO want. Speak it. Write about it. Visualize it. FEEL it. The metaphysical law of attraction holds that you get put your energy and focus on. Focus on your problems, and you’ll naturally attract more of the same. Focus on how you want to feel, and you’ll attract more of that.
- Release the guilt and blame. Self-sabotage isn’t real, and feeling bad is a waste of time and energy.
- Pay attention to your actions, they hint at your real Core Beliefs.
- Be honest with yourself about your Life Ecology – what are you REALLY willing to give up to change?
- And (of course, you knew this was coming) talk with a Transformational Life Coach to work on releasing old false beliefs that no longer serve you, so you can create space for creating new positive affirming beliefs. Then, your actions will align with your Core Beliefs, and you will start to experience real, lasting change to reach your health & life goals. Viola!
I’d love to hear from you! Where are you stuck in life? Do you have a story of how getting good advice has NOT worked for you?
Do You Meditate?
Fall is here, and I’m reflecting on things I’m grateful for. I’m thankful for my loving husband who takes such good care of me. I’m proud of my sons, who are both making strides in their growth and personal development. I’m excited that business is thriving and my personal relationships are strong. I’m also happy that I made the decision to take the entire month of September off to rest and recharge. That was a tough decision, as I feared I would lose momentum that I’ve built up since relaunching my business last November. But after a fateful day in August, which should have been the worst day of the entire year for me, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as I got the message loud and clear from the Universe that it was imperative that I slow DOWN.
I’m sure you’re wondering…what happened in August? Well, here’s the short version:
I had a 3 day business travel planned in the last week of August. I had it planned several months in advance. I arrived at the airport well in advanced, got my bags checked, made it through security, and made my way to the gate, anticipating a good hour of down time before catching my flight. However, I quickly found out at my gate that there were several flight delays due to mechanical failure, and ALL connecting flights were cancelled due to a bad storm. I’ll skip over the several trips I made, running (with an injured back) back and forth from my gate and Customer Service, trying desperately to catch another flight. I ended up stuck in two airports all day, and ended up having to cancel my whole trip. By the time I was got back home, it was after midnight, with my luggage lost somewhere (I finally received my luggage that following Sunday). When my husband picked me up at the airport, I broke down and cried a few minutes from sheer exhaustion, then slept the whole ride back home.
Again, I won’t bore you with the details, but if you’ve ever experienced being stuck in an airport due to bad weather, and faced being stranded overnight in a different city without your laptop or luggage, I’m sure you can imagine the stress and strain this can put on your body. My neck and back ached, I was hungry, tired, and I could FEEL the cortisol overload in my body: I felt TOXIC, tense, and like I wanted to explode.
The next week was a blur.
I had no energy, my thoughts were cloudy, I had trouble remembering simple things, and I felt like molasses in December. It wasn’t until I had an energetic reading/chakra healing session and a subsequent personal life coaching session that I realized my problem: I had adrenal fatigue, my root and sacral chakras were blocked, and my energetic boundaries were blown wide open from that travel fiasco.
As an Empath and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), I am very sensitive to being in crowded, public places beyond what I can normally stand, which is a about a couple of hours, depending on the vibration level. That travel day sucked out all my energy, and I was left depleted. I realized the experiences from that day pierced my energetic boundaries. It felt like my auras had gaping-wide holes, like the flood-gates to my spirit had been forced wide open, and all sorts of uninvited energy freely flowed into my personal space. This is what if feels like to an Empath to be surrounded in a public place for an extended period of time: at some point, the senses become overstimulated, and it’s on a subtle energy level, it’s like too much white noise. My emotions were raw, and I just needed to turn the white noise all the way DOWN, and get some space and distance from everyone and everything.
So, the minor setback to my back healing progress aside, with this new information that my adrenals were worn out, my cortisol was through the roof, my chakras needed re-clearing, and my energetic boundaries needed sealing, in lieu of unconsciously plowing through the month of September and delaying my healing further, I decided to TAKE A BREAK.
During the month of September, I did several things to help me get back on track. I did a 21-day version of my Renewal Detox (and gained energy, and lost 10 lbs by accident). I took herbs such as maca and stress-relieving essential oils to nourish my adrenals. I continued my reiki energy healing, resumed my weekly chiropractic sessions (and my back and sciatic nerves improved a bit), I added weekly acupuncture sessions, and I also threw in a couple of professional reflexology and deep tissue massages sessions for good measure. All of these things helped me tremendously, but what I feel helped me the most is meditation.
Meditation Saved Me from Spiraling Out of Control
Meditation enabled me to block out the external world, draw within, hit the RESET button, and get the distance and space I needed, even in the midst of everything around me. Spontaneous meditations, ranging anywhere from 5-15 minutes, helped me keep my balance and avoid going over the edge, especially after low vibration emotions of anger and frustration hit me like a brick with each new announcement of another yet another flight delay.
5 Reasons You Should Practice Meditating Every Day
If you are new to meditation, and are interested in making it a regular practice to help manage stress in your life, I hope the following reasons to meditate inspire you to get on board:
1. Meditation lowers your stress “set point”.
Our body has wisdom and it remembers. When you get really stressed to the point of boiling anger, your body remembers that and bookmarks a “set point” of what you deem as acceptable levels of stress. Repeat exposure to high levels of stress lead you to become programmed to respond to certain triggers, and like a domino effect, it initiates a downward spiral of negative thoughts, low vibration emotions, and behavior that goes along with it.
Meditation can serve as a stop-gap, to remind you there are other ways to handle a situation, such as take deep breaths, walk away and cool off, and fully process information you receive from your emotions. This helps you observe and “check-in” with yourself before making a conscious choice to react or act in your highest and greatest good, rather than take action fueled by low vibration emotions such as anger or frustration.
2. Meditation lowers cortisol and blood pressure.
I was told by my doctor years ago that stress is like an explosion inside your body. Many people live with high levels of stress for long periods of time, unaware this is a dangerous lifestyle choice. The good news is, you can quickly lower your cortisol when you are triggered in a stressful situation.
According to Christopher Bergland in The Athlete’s Way:
“Any type of meditation will reduce anxiety and lower cortisol levels. Simply taking a few deep breaths engages the Vagus nerve which triggers a signal within your nervous system to slow heart rate, lower blood pressure and decreases cortisol. The next time you feel yourself in a stressful situation that activates your ‘Fight-or-Flight’ response take 10 deep breaths and feel your entire body relax and decompress.”
Whenever I feel the stress spike my cortisol, I have trained myself to immediately take a quick ten deep breaths. I also ask myself why am I triggered, and what my physical reaction means. I scan my core values, to see if they have been compromised in the stressful moment, and I intuitively make a decision whether to respond or just keep observing the moment. Then, as soon as I can, I mentally white out every stimuli, and clean my mental plate, until it’s clear or white in my mind. I do this until I feel more calm, or until my stress and cortisol intuitively feels at an acceptable or healthy level.
3. Meditation empowers you.
One of the things I love about meditation is that it gives you control over your mind. It’s a good thing to be inspired by others, and to have positive influences. However, without meditation or some similar form of healthy, temporary mental isolation, it can be tough to have soul clarity, to make clear decisions, without questioning if that decision was made from yourself, or if it was due to an outside influence. This is especially true if you are people pleaser, or if you are easily emotionally manipulated.
In my youth up until my late 20s, I was both. I unconsciously took actions to make others feel good at my personal expense, not just because it made me happy to see them smile, but on a deeper level, because I sought love and acceptance. Meditation increases your awareness of what your soul craves, what your body needs, enables you to have clarity; clear mental thought processes. This in turn strengthens your intuitive decision-making decisions in both your personal and professional life, so you are empowered to take action for your highest and greatest good, in the midst of outside influence.
4. Meditation activates your feminine side.
We live in a fast-paced, stressful society, one that doesn’t cater to nourishment of the body, mind, and soul. Working in Corporate America, the high cost of living, work deadlines, societal expectations, all these things and more can pull you away from your feminine side, and give you the illusion that you should be more masculine in order to survive. If this is against your nature, meaning, your alchemy and personality is more feminine energy, you will be unhappy, because your life in not aligned with your authentic self. Meditation helps you be gentle, and less aggressive, with yourself.
The act of meditating is one of the most gentle form of self-care you can engage in. It encourages you to stay connected with your feminine side, to explore the parts of you that beg to be explored, expressed. It increases your awareness of what is inside, in a gentle, non-aggressive way.
5. Meditation bridges the Body + Mind + Spirit connection.
We learn so much from watching our parents, our elders. Growing up, I learned from watching the women in my family that in their own way, they used prayer as a way to reconnect the body, mind, and spirit. But they didn’t just use prayer, they connected their body, mind and spirit in traditional pastimes such as family camping trips (think beach tents, camp fire, boat fishing, log cabins, etc.), Sunday family dinner, a modern-day tribal ritual of sorts, where women congregated in the kitchen and talked about everything, and Saturday girl’s beauty nights, where we all washed our hair, and everyone took a turn getting their hair either braided or their scalp rubbed and treated with a hot oil conditioning. The physical routines are a meditation in itself. The endorphins from the physical contact on these special occasions rival a high-priced professional massage at a luxury spa. There’s no better feeling than letting your guard down, and immersing in a routine or fun-filled family activity, being surrounded in a stress-free, safe, loving, high vibration environment. To me, this is a form of meditation because rather than being mentally/emotionally checked out, you are fully present, fully engaged, fully aware of all your senses, and it makes you feel connected, grounded, alive.
Do you meditate? How do you benefit from meditation? I’d love to hear from you!
Don’t let the media fool you. Not everyone needs to know what Beyonce wore to dinner last night, what brand shampoo Katy Perry washes her hair with, and where Jennifer Lopez vacations. (Well, I might be only vaguely interested in the vacation part – wink.) This is not valuable information when it comes to our lives, our values, our happiness, and how we feel from day to day.
If magazines, social media, and the internet were any indication of where we put our values, it would seem we’re all obsessed with the extravagant lifestyles of celebrities, or the rich and famous. I can’t remember the last time I scanned through Facebook or Pinterest, or even CNN, without some mention of a famous celebrity – who’s getting married, who’s having a baby, who’s breaking up. What is the fascination with celebrities? And more importantly, how does it make you feel? Do you find yourself fantasizing about how celebrities live, or do you find yourself comparing their quality of life to yours? How is comparisonitis (a fake word I just made up, for the act of constantly compare one’s self to others) working out for you?
There is a better way.
Instead of obsessing over the glamorous lifestyles of movie stars and models, and feeling like your life is shitty in comparison, try the following ideas on how to feel good about your life. Once you incorporate this new perspective in your life repeatedly, you may even begin to feel like you’re the superstar of YOUR life, every day! Soon you’ll stop comparing your boring, drab life to celebrities, because you’ll be completely engaged in your life – you are the “Beyonce” or “Lady Gaga” of your world!
1. Clear the White Noise
Ditch the social gossip websites, unsubscribe, hide, delete, block – whatever it takes to disconnect from the white noise that feeds into the hype and lures you into comparisonitis. Stop reading gossip magazines, and instead, visit the Self-Help or Spiritual section of the bookstore. I’ve curated a selection of great books that inspire your inner Modern Goddess.
2. Identify Your Core Values
Get clear on your core values. What is the absolute MUST HAVE for your complete happiness? What are the base requirements and nice to haves (think Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs meets Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map)? Write them down, post them on a wall where you can see them every day.
Sample core values and desired feelings: abundance of money/joy/time/love, clear mind, relaxed, calm, excitement, authenticity, empowered, aligned, connected to the present, freedom, spontaneous, feminine energy, generous, gratitude. I’ll share a few of my core values: for my complete and sheer happiness, and for me to feel like I’m a superstar of my life, I must feel immersed in beauty (I love the beach, mountains, the forest, pink and white decor, a clean home, fresh flowers, uncluttered office space), be able to luxuriate in my five senses: smell, taste, touch, sight, hearing (I play jazz music when I cook, and use fresh herbs and produce when I cook), and I also have a portion of unstructured, spontaneous time in my day to get quiet, meditate, and tap into my 6th sense: my intuition. I give myself reiki energy healing everyday to keep my chakras clear, I use essential oils, candles, and incense to enhance my meditations experience and really dial up the intensity of indulging in sight, smell, etc.
Hint: core values isn’t something you DO, rather, is something that you FEEL or something you want to BE.
Tip: Speak them loud and clear. Make them your mantra to live by. Decide they are your birthrights, and you don’t have to earn them, you have a right to feel this way every day of your life. Expect to attract these things, places, or feelings in your life.
3. Protect and Defend
Get clear on what your core values are, and refuse to compromise them. If having 6-8 hours of sleep is an absolute requirement for your health and happiness, let nothing stop you from getting the rest you need. If you know you get cranky in noisy, crowded places, or if you’re an Empath like me, and you know certain people (I call them Energy Vampires) drain your energy, avoid them at all costs. I have certain “friends” and family that I keep at a safe perimeter of my life.
I’ve chosen to love them at a safe distance, because their energy is such an energetic drain to me, and I value having a high level of positive, high vibration energy.
Other core values might be reciprocity in relationships, trust among friends, integrity in business dealings, peace, moments of solitude for meditation. Think about how you want to feel on a day-to-day basis. What feelings are non-negotiable for your base level of happiness? Now turn up the volume on this level of happiness you’re willing to accept in your life. This could give you insight to your core values. Protect and defend these core values just like you imagine your favorite celebrity would if it were them!
4. Make Everyday Special
We feel down when we feel like we have no control to change what is our life. We feel happy when we feel empowered to change and make things better. You CAN change your life, instantly! Here’s one great way to feel empowered immediately and feel like a celebrity in your life: Don’t save the expensive perfume, wine, fresh flowers, outfits, or jewelry for certain times of the year like holidays or birthdays. Make every day special: wear your BEST outfits like today is special. Why? Because when you look great, you send your brain a message, and your brain then tells you that you FEEL GREAT. When you dress in old gym sweats, granny panties, and ugly socks, I guarantee the way you’re dressed is sending your brain mixed messages, and you won’t feel great! So Dress UP like TODAY is a SPECIAL DAY, even if no one else will see you. Rinse and repeat every day! Take time for you with a chapter of a good book, enroll in a fun class like yoga, cooking, art, break out the good china, nice tablecloth, use the special wine glasses, even for plain water. (Or make plain water special by adding fresh cut fruit or herbs like mint or basil.) Everyday, decide THIS day is special, and treat it as if it were a special day, because it is…it’s the PRESENT, a gift to you!
5. Don’t Be A Martyr
Somehow, somewhere down the road of life, something bad or even devastating happened like a bad romance, losing a friend, or death in the family, and in some way, you may have accepted pain or misery as a part of life. In some ways, this is true: pain is a part of life. A part of the human experience is to feel pain and suffering, because like TEDTalk public speaker and author Brené Brown says on Oprah’s Super Soul Sundays, pain is the best teacher. For some reason, we learn life lessons best after experiencing things we DON’T like, like a heartbreak after a romance ends, a car accident, or an embarrassing moment. But I believe we also have the power of choice, and we can CHOOSE to experience life, for the most part, through a graceful flow of ease, happiness, and joy. I believe we can also learn our life lessons without pain, that we can CHOOSE happiness over sadness. I believe emotions are a choice.
Brene says on Spirituality & Health Magazine:
“The overwhelming message in our culture today is that an ordinary life is a meaningless life unless you are grabbing a lot of attention and you have lots of Twitter followers and Facebook fans who know everything you know. I use the shame-based fear of being ordinary as my definition for narcissism. I definitely see it in younger generations, where people fear they are not big enough. No matter how happy and fulfilling their small, quiet life is, they feel it must not mean very much, because it’s not the way people are measuring success. Which is just terrifying.” – See more here.
You Can Decide to Live a High Vibrational Life
If one day you wake up sad, Brene would have you accept that sadness as vulnerability. She writes and speaks about the power in giving ourselves permission to be vulnerable. I agree with her that there is strength in being vulnerable. I also feel at that moment, we must also take decisive action when we feel low vibration emotions (like anger, jealousy, sadness) – we must recognize the emotion as low vibration, and decide in that moment to CHOOSE a higher vibration emotion, like joy, love, gratitude, and take decisive action to support that positive emotion.
Then watch as the domino affect happen in your life – instead of choosing to be a marty and suffer in life, you choose to live your life like a superstar, what that image represents for you, in terms of your core values. Then as you begin to make the shift towards deciding to BE happy and indulge in your core values, you attract MORE of the same: you become a magnet for more love, more joy, more abundance, more freedom, etc. You become the Beyonce of YOUR LIFE. No need to compare, no need to keep track of what celebrities are doing, because your life is holding all of your attention, and your needs are being fulfilled. Your life holds meaning, and your full attention.
I’ll offer myself as an example: I am a native Texan. I grew up in Houston, TX, but now live in Cypress with my husband. I love Texas, and I think Houston and Cypress are great places to live. The cities have a lot to offer for growing families. Our two sons went to school here, but have now grown up and moved away. Although my husband and I enjoy having an empty home here, we are entertaining the idea of selling the house and becoming Digital Nomads, moving from place to place until we find a new city to settle in and call home. For me, that means LOTS of time near clean beaches, or natural lakes with crystal clear or blue water.
Until then, I still deal with things I don’t love. Summer heat and humidity. Mosquitos. Restaurants that love to put cheese and bacon on everything (I’m extremely dairy-sensitive and I don’t eat pork). Bad hair days. (Thank you The Dry Bar for helping me stay cute!) In spite of these things, I still make it a high priority to live like a Modern Goddess, an ideal which represents living gracefully through life, empowered, with gratitude, feeling beautiful, feeling my divine feminine energy, and taking positive action to support, protect, and defend my core values in this lifetime. We travel whenever we can, or at least take weekend trips when possible. I cook (dairy-free, gluten-free, pork-free) at home as much as possible, I use essential oils and take a raw Vitamin B to keep mosquitoes at away, and I do whatever it takes to make my remaining time here enjoyable.
I am mindful of what I expose myself to on social media, with my social circle, and even music I listen to. I refuse to listen to music with lyrics (especially a lot of pop or rap music) that I feel are low vibration or are demeaning to women. I strive everyday to keep my eyes on my path, and not compare myself with others. I avoid people that always complain, so that low vibration energy doesn’t rub off on me. I protect and defend my core values, even if it means doing a social purge, letting certain people, places and or things go. I make my happiness my highest priority, because I can do more in life from a place of happiness, than I can feeling down and unempowered.
So, I’d love to hear from you. How do you live in a celebrity-obsessed world, and maintain balance by avoiding self-comparison? How do you protect your core values? What do you do to be the superstar or Modern Goddess in your life?
I have always been extremely curious about energy healing and supersensory gifts, ever since I was a little girl. In fact, all my life, I have been a student of intuition, dream interpretation, and natural gifts of knowing and sight. Of course, this wasn’t encouraged when I was growing up in a strict religious Baptist household, so I hid my curiosity from everyone…until now. I have officially come out of the closet – I still consider myself a Christian, but I am now openly a Reiki Energy Healer!
If you’re read my previous blog posts, you already know I have publically been a student of the mind-body connection, and after my recent personal experience with focusing not just on healthy eating & lifestyle, but also using natural energy healing methods such as chakra cleansing, reiki healing, visualizations, and positive affirmations during surgery and afterwards during the recovery process, I knew my coaching was shifting to not just focus on food and eating healthy, but also towards subtle energy healing. It became more and more clear to me that my coaching practice would transition to working with women on a much deeper level. As a result, I have expanded my practice to include energy healing, so you will now see reiki treatments, chakra cleansing, meditations, visualizations, and more added to my website in the coming months. In fact, I’m now offering reiki treatments on my Work with Me page.
Offering energy healing in an official, public way is a brand new chapter in my life, and I’m so excited and thrilled to finally have a proper systematic method for channeling my natural energetic healing capabilities. And I’m happy to be able to offer this service to my clients, and not at the expense of my own health: I can channel energy healing to clients and never tap into my personal store. This is HUGE for me, because before I took reiki, I would often become drained after coaching sessions, from two important mistakes I was making:
- I wasn’t shielding myself properly on a subtle energetic level, so I would unintentionally absorb my clients’ energy, emotions, feelings well after a coaching session ended.
- I would send healing energy to my clients, but would feel depleted because I was tapping into my personal store of energy – not from the unlimited supply of Diving Spirit.
So, as you can imagine, getting certified in Reiki and learning the proper protocols as a professional energy healer is EVERYTHING to me! I feel ready to take on the world, one client or (group) at a time!
ps. I also have some other GREAT news! I have just completed my Transformational Coaching Method (TCM) training, and I’m now certified as a Transformational Life Coach. More details to come on this, but for now, if you’re curious, checkout this awesome program at www.tcmmethod.com. And it doesn’t stop there! I’m committed a lifetime of continual personal development and growth, so I am currently participating in the TCM Mastery program, which runs from March to July 2014. I’m already well on my way to be one of the TOP 1% of Master-Level coaches in the entire world. HUGE! 🙂 I’ll share more details on this soon. (wink)
Well enough about me – I’d love to hear from you! Have you ever tried reiki? What was the experience like for you? How did you find reiki? If you have never tried reiki before, are you interested?