Rituals for Intentional Living

Rituals for Intentional Living

Do you love rituals? I didn’t always love them growing up, but now I that I’m an adult, I’ve learned how to craft rituals that create beautiful, sacred space in my life.  Rituals are important, and we all have them. Rituals stem from our belief systems and familial, societal, and religious contracts.

A ritual is calendar-based or seasonal, and is based on a life-cycle (pre-birth baby shower, dispersing ashes into the ocean) or life crisis (prayer vigils after a tragedy). Rituals can be either formal or informal, religious or non-religious, but they always have a specific intention, as well as a specific time and/or place.

I am loving the rituals I’ve created for my life. And I’m especially loving the brand new Rituals for Living Dreambook+Planner, developed by my friends Briana and Peter Borten. They are the founders of the Dragontree, a wellness company dedicated to making the world a more peaceful place by seeding our community with centered, peaceful, and healthy people.

Dreambook

Briana and Peter write, “Ritual brings order, specialness, context and focus to our lives. The opening and closing, or the initiation and conclusion of a ritual aligns our intention with our actions, and it sets the stage for the action to be as effective as possible. Ritual grounds us in the present, it rescues us from dwelling on the past and worrying about the future.”

This is an excerpt from their Dreambook. It is a brilliant tool for embracing rituals into your life!

The Dreambook is a year-long system for having more peace and wellness in your life by ritualizing the things that make you healthy and happy.

The Dreambook supports you to liberally include healthful activities when scheduling your week, and has daily check-ins to help you stay on track and engaged in these and your broader life goals. The first section of the Dreambook is all about getting clear on your true dreams and goals, and your own core values and gifts, so these can be used as the guiding vision when planning your life. The book also shows you how to develop new rituals around the practices you want to integrate into your life so you feel nourished, balanced and successful.

Briana and Peter mailed me a copy of this beautiful Dreambook, and I love it so much that I’ve decided to share this tool, because we share a mission to help people achieve greater health of mind and body, while also living a more efficient and purposeful life.

Does that sound like something you want?

To get this tool for optimal life creation, come over to Rituals for Living Dreambook+Planner and chose the best option for you: a Dreambook or a Dreambook+Planner, which has a built in paper calendar for you to do your scheduling in. It also makes a great Christmas gift, for you or a loved one!

So, back to YOU and rituals.

Rituals are a great way to anchor us, to create sacred space for intentional living.

Young beautiful woman meditating in lotus pose.

 

There are rituals we do everyday, as a part of our self-care routine: brushing your teeth, washing your face,  showering and other personal care hygiene.

For example, in our culture, we all enjoy food rituals:

  1. Breakfast (coffee, tea, morning paper, watch the news).
  2. Lunch (log off the PC, take a walk, eat a salad and soup at your desk, grab a burrito from Chipotle and catch up with a friend).
  3. Afternoon (Starbucks latte, cup of tea, visit to the dreaded office vending machine for a sugary or salty treat).
  4. Dinner rituals (take off the bra and heels, throw on an apron, whip up a quick dinner and enjoy with a loved one or family).
  5. Holiday feasts (SuperBowl Sunday, Thanksgiving turkey and dressing, Christmas egg nog and pecan pie).

Of course, depending on your culture or religion, there’s sacred life cycle rituals, including:

  • circumcision
  • infant baptism
  • bar/bat mitzvahs
  • confirmation
  • Quinceañera
  • weddings
  • family or cultural traditions

Most of the rituals that we have were taught to us. Most of those rituals serve us well. Some don’t. Why? Because we are constantly evolving, growing, changing. And although most of your values stay the same, sometimes they shift. If you don’t redesign your life to fit what matters most to you, how can you truly be happy?

As you enter the holiday season, I invite you to examine the rituals in your life, and consider whether it’s time to release rituals that are no longer aligned with what you value most. Which ones make you feel good? Keep ’em. Which ones turn your stomach, make you feel hollow and empty, or closed off? Re-evaluate. Reinvent them (get creative!). Or toss ’em.

Are there some rituals that deplete you emotionally, mentally, spiritually, even physically? Is it time for you to take a stand for your innermost feelings, and let your family and friends or coworkers know (by action – because people will observe what you DO more than what you SAY) that you will no longer participate in the unwritten social contracts that don’t align with who you are today? Close your eyes, take a deep, cleansing breath, exhale, and ask your Higher Self. Trust the answer will come.

Maybe it’s time to rewrite the script that is your life. Make up some new rituals that feel much more soft, feminine, empowering, healing, and nurturing for YOU.

If you’re looking to integrate mindful rituals to enhance your spiritual path and make life more meaningful, you’re in luck. Below are some examples of rituals you may decide to integrate into your life as an empowered, emotionally strong, Modern Goddess.

Days of the Week Rituals

In my Sacred Sisterhood of the Modern Goddess, I encourage members to embrace daily rituals to keep them anchored to mindful living and staying connected to their intentions.

  • Soul Food Sunday or Soulful Sunday.
    Sunday is a great day to connect within, communicate with Source, and seek guidance for the week ahead.
  • Mindful Monday or Mantra Monday.
    Monday is the start of the business week, and is often met with brain fog as you transition into high gear after a weekend of relaxation. It helps to have mindful moments to reconnect to your intuition (internal GPS), and to use a mantra that keeps you focused on your intentions.
  • Creative Wednesday or Playful Wednesday.
    Does mid-week often have you feeling overwhelmed? You might be taking in more than you put out into the Universe. Take some time to CREATE something: a blog post, a letter to yourself, paint, write a poem, give a talk, host a webinar, color in some mandalas, build something, make something, bake something, just get those creative juices flowing! I promise you’ll feel great afterwards!
    By mid-week, you’re also probably just starting to reach the peak of energy, and eventual decline as you start begging for Friday to come. Adding some laughter and fun is a great way to instantly shift your energy and give you that extra boost of mental clarity to ride until the weekend. Also, laughter lifts your vibration and makes you a magnet for attracting your greatest desires!
  • Celebration Friday.
    Fridays are a great day to celebrate life.  Give thanks for all the things you may take for granted, things you silently criticize yourself for. Things you accomplished. Life lessons that caused so much heartache and emotional pain, but you grew stronger, wiser for it. Take time to reflect on the growth, the emotional strength, the ability to “keep on moving” from a place of heart wisdom, intuitive knowing, and trust in the Universe to have your back.

Rituals with Your Tribe

It’s also really nurturing to have regularly scheduled and spontaneous rituals with people in your tribe – people who “get” you, love you, have your back when you need someone to hold sacred space for you when you need emotional support. Fun rituals could be:

  • Spa days. Think massage, mani/pedi, The Dry Bar blowouts.
  • Holistic Health mini retreats. You could both try alternative therapies such as acupuncture, colonics, or yoga classes.
  • Paint and Wine. Painting is actually a spiritual event, because you are creating something as an act of self-expression. Adding wine just makes it even more fun!
  • Group walks are a great way to connect, and enjoy the outdoors. Instead of going out for dinner, suggest taking a hike or walk outdoors.
  • Cooking healthy meals together. Take a healthy cooking class, or search for a healthy recipe and make it together. You may even decide to do the shopping for special ingredients together, at Whole Foods or the Farmer’s Market.
  • Take a meditation class together. Checkout www.meetup.com for local meditation groups.

Personal Rituals

A small altar in the foreground with a figure of Buddha, candles, sand and stones. In the background, out of focus, the silhouette of a woman meditating in yoga posture, seated on the floor.

Personal rituals are the most important, because “as within, so without”. If you don’t make time to connect within, you won’t become aware of your internal state at an energy level until it manifests at a physical level, usually in the form of an ailment or illness. Weekly or daily rituals help keep you rooted and anchored in healthy and spiritual practices that keep you on track for your intentions to live a balanced, meaningful life.

Morning Rituals

Morning rituals are a great way to set the tone for your day. It keeps you anchored to your values, desires, and intentions for your life.

  • Deep breathing. Upon wakening, practice prayanama to clear your energy and hit the reset button to start your day fresh.
  • Journal. Journaling is one of the most powerful things you can include in your spiritual practice, because it helps you see synchronicity that you might otherwise overlook. Try automatic writing when you first wake up in the morning, before you get out of bed. Write with no thought for spelling, grammar, or structure. Jot down details from dreams, record any thoughts that randomly pop into your mind. You may eventually see meaning to the seemingly randomness – through symbolism or hidden clues of your next steps in life.
  • Water + Lemon. As soon as you get out of bed, drink a full glass of warm or hot water with fresh lemon or lime juice. It helps to jumpstart your metabolism, and stimulates bile production. For some, it also helps flush out the bowels, leaving you feeling energetic and refreshed.
  • Meditation, Mantras, Visualizations. Take some time to connect within, remind yourself of your intentions, desires, and how you want your day to go. Use a mantra that helps root you to your intentions. Visualize going through your day, and accomplishing that desired state. For example, if you desire feeling empowered throughout your day, imagine yourself smiling and feeling joy after completing a difficult or challenging work task, or closing a big deal. Imaging getting that large project or finding closure on some important matter.
  • Nutrition. Before you drink or eat anything, consider the effects it will have on your body and mood. Will that sugar donut make you have brain fog later in the day? Will the extra carbs and sugar cause an energy crash, causing you to drag around the entire day? Perhaps some almond buttter on gluten-free toast, or a hard boiled egg wrapped in romaine lettuce will carry you further, and put you in a good position to make the day great.

Afternoon Rituals

  • Take a walk for lunch, and then enjoy a healthy protein smoothie.
  • Take a 10-15 minute nap for lunch and feel refreshed the rest of the day.
  • Workout for lunch, feel energized the rest of your day.
  • Schedule notifications in your calendar or mobile phone to remind you to take 5-10 minute stretch breaks every hour.
  • Take mini-meditation breaks, use an app on your iPhone for guided meditations. Omvana is a great app that offers free and paid meditations.

Evening Rituals

  • Instead of going to Happy Hours, take an evening meditation, yoga, or tai chi class.
  • Plan ahead for meals. Shop for groceries and prep veggies on Sunday, store in BPA-free or glass food containers. When you get home, take a quick shower to freshen up, and then light candles, play some zen or jazz music, and make cooking a fun event. Invite a loved one or friend to join you, and set the dining table with fresh flowers – make it really special.
  • Evening is also a great time to journal, meditate, and/or visualize. I like to take a long sea-salt or Epsom bath, with candles and incense, and light music, and reflect on my day. I recall if anything during the day made me feel upset, or uncomfortable. I ask myself, did my emotional trigger come from a place of love or fear? Is it mine, or did I empathically pick up someone else’s energy? Then I do an energy cleanse: imagine a white light pouring through my entire body, from my crown chakra all the way down through my other chakras, through my feet, and into the very core of the earth.
  • Before I go to bed, I like to connect with my Spirit Guides, and ask for guidance or support. I thank Source for at least 5 things I’m grateful for, and pray for answers to any questions I have once I wake up.

So, there you have it. These are just suggestions to inspire you to create rituals for intentional living, that make life more meaningful to you. Namaste.

ps. I’d love to hear from you! What rituals are you inspired to experiment with this week?

My Current Obsessions

My Current Obsessions

I love to shop. But as an Empath, it can be draining to spend more than an hour at the mall. So, in recent years, I’ve really enjoyed online shopping.

As I deepened my spiritual path, I realized I wanted to fill my home and life with more meaningful items that make me feel good. And as a Libra, my mantra has always been, “I am surrounded by beauty.” So, it makes perfect sense that the items I buy look pretty, inspiring, and evoke a positive feeling for me.

I decided to build a collection of conscious jewelry, brighten up my sacred space/spiritual altar in my home, and occasionally indulge in things that truly reflect my style, my personality, and even my archetype as a Modern Goddess.

I am happy to share with you a few of my favorite things:

Tiny Devotions

I love Tiny Devotions’ mala beads and bracelets! I find their malas are so beautiful! What I also love is their willingness to not assume a future customer is familiar with malas, so Tiny Devotions educates you on topics like:

Mala Collective

Mala Collective - Meditate Mala

I also really love the Mala Collective! So many beautiful options to choose from: necklaces, bracelets, scarves, candles, and so much more. PLENTY to choose from to build your sacred space and/or spiritual alter, and enrich your spiritual practice.

Note: I am an affiliate for Mala Collective. If you want to see other items I recommend as an affiliate (I’ll make a small commission from your purchase), click the Shop menu.

 Spirit Mist

Spirit Mist is a smokeless smudge in a bottle, created by an amazing Reiki Master, Rhonda Lee.  Smudging is the the act of burning dried or fresh plants to clear negative energy from either a closed space or your subtle energy (auras, chakras). It’s an ancient practice that is still in use today. Smudging can be a challenge for Empaths like me, who travel often, and cannot burn and allow smoke in public areas like airports or on a plane. So the ability to whip out a bottle of my Spirit Mist and clear my energy at will is HUGE! I also find it very helpful when I have back-to-back healing sessions, and want to clear my energy before treating the next client.

 

Mayan Rose Shop

Mayan Rose Shop

It’s always best to shop for your crystals and gemstones in person, to feel the energy of each and observe which ones you are naturally drawn to.

But if you don’t have a crystal shop nearby, there’s always Instagram and Etsy! I love to shop for my crystals by what inspires me on Instagram, where everything is so beautifully laid out. See for yourself, check out Mayan Rose for crystals and gemstones – it’s hard not to go crazy!

Flash Tattoos

Beyonce Flash Tattoos

I have a little secret: I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo. But I have concerns with marking my body permanently with potentially toxic ink. Flash Tattoos have solved this problem by creating temporary tattoos that are non-toxic and safe for anyone to wear – they last about 4-6 days.

Now, the question is, which tattoo best represents your archetype? Wanderlust? Beyonce? Bohemian Child of the Wild?

 

The Little Sage Oracle Cards

I only use oracle cards in my spiritual practice and also in my business as a spiritual life coach and energy healer.

This is the main deck I use regularly, mainly because I find my clients LOVE the readings I give from this deck most of all. I love the simple, modern, clean feel to this deck.

Main Image

OutiArt

This deck is so rich and vibrant, and I love the way it blends mystique with a modern, bold, and feminine feel. I like to pull these occasionally, just to mix things up.

love your true colors, oracle cards

Divine Love Deck

I am so thrilled to have participated in the creation of this deck.  Check out my Modern Goddess of Power card above!

Inner Hue

Image of Connected & Free - The Alchemist's Oracle

OMG, I just ordered this deck, and it has yet to arrive. I can barely contain my excitement! I’ll keep you posted once I crack this baby open!

Want to shop for other decks? I found Ethony’s tarot and oracle deck review to be really insightful!

Conscious Jewelry

Child of the Wild

Child of the Wild Crystal Headdress

Are you a wild child? A bohemian, Gypset type that likes to wear jewelry that evokes “historical art movements and cultural rituals and ideals”?  Eileen Lofgren has a full line of jewelry that gives credit to the “cultures, tribes, artists” who inspired them. I love that!

Satya

Satya

If Satya is good enough for a Modern Goddess like Marie Forleo, it’s good enough for you and me too! I’m in love with this gold cuff, which features an intricate mandala, a form of sacred geometry.

Want to keep up with my latest obsessions? Follow me on Instagram where I share my life, my loves, and my Modern Goddess lifestyle.

Give me the scoop – what are your favorite current obsessions?

Manifest What You Want

Manifest What You Want

How to Manifest What You Want and Live Like an Empowered Modern Goddess

I have this morning ritual where I wake up and immediately start running through my mind all the things I’m grateful for, including being alive. Then I visualize how I want to feel throughout my day.  I remind myself of what matters most to me, and set the intention to honor those values, desires, and feelings with conscious action throughout the day. It helps me stay in my feminine divine, and flow through my day like a Modern Goddess, a life avatar I created for myself as something to aspire to, or emulate, for my personal joy and fulfillment.

My gratitude practice only takes a few moments every morning, and it sets the tone for my day and my future. Gratitude is one of several things I do to  manifest a life I love: daily connection to Spirit and my tapping into higher self.

I didn’t always feel like a Modern Goddess. In fact, in my early 20s, I felt like Cinderella BEFORE the ball: unwanted and alone. At that time in my life, I was married to the wrong guy, with a baby on my hip, and the weight of the world on my back. I hadn’t yet found my life purpose, but I knew I wanted something bigger than being a housewife – I wanted to change the world.

They say be careful what you ask for. I got exactly that.

Flash forward a couple of years later after my post-college days, and I was divorced, unemployed, and homeless.  I was also deeply depressed, had thoughts of suicide, and felt like my life was forever ruined because life didn’t go according to what I had planned for myself. Little did I know at that time that my life was going in exactly the direction it needed for me to become who I am today, and enjoy the life I have co-created with God.

But back then, in my early 20s, I hit rock bottom after life blindsided me with one major disappointment after another. I was a victim of emotional, mental, and physical abuse – the violent and sexual kind. I was angry and ashamed that I allowed people to hurt me, and I felt like a target for all the assholes in the world. At some point I reached a breaking point: I was DONE with living.

I demanded that God turn things around for me, “or else” I was going to bring my life to an end.  I had it planned out.  I was going to just drive my car over the freeway and sail into the afterlife.

Crying hysterically and having an emotional meltdown while driving up Highway 290, I was at the point of no return: I couldn’t go on living as the person I had become.  And even though I was only half serious about the “or else” part, I was prepared to do something really drastic and BIG to show I was serious.

I’m so glad God heard my cry and didn’t call my bluff.  Instead, as I drove closer to the section of freeway where I needed to make a split-second decision, I experienced the strong presence of what I know now to be a Spirit Guide. I felt an invisible hand touch me on my shoulder, and although I didn’t physically hear the words, I “heard” someone tell me to be patient, hang in there, and that my life was gonna get better – WAY better.

That presence comforted my emotions and just like a light switch, I went from painful heartache and tight chest to feeling hopeful, loved, and validated. That was the day I decided to take the reigns of my life, and turn things around. That was the day I took my power back. And life has been one helluva journey ever since – I wouldn’t change a thing.

One thing that helped me feel empowered was learning about metaphysics and the Laws of Attraction (LOA). After that experience on Highway 290, I found the courage to leave organized religion and forge my own path with God.  It was a freefall, for sure. I was scared, but determined that there was another TRUTH out there, and I was going to find it my way by exploring my destined path of conscious evolution, spirituality, and enlightenment.

Path of Conscious Evolution and Enlightenment

I made a conscious decision to wipe the slate clean of everything I had been taught and form new beliefs. That meant, of course, that I had to learn how God really speaks to us.  I discovered prayer is us talking to God, but meditation is God answering that prayer. And sometimes the answer comes from other ways, like Spirit Guides, or through our intuition – an internal GPS we’re all born with. We’re born with this super sensory inner wisdom, but as we grow older, we forget. We become disconnected from our inner selves, and learn to only rely on what our eyes can see, what our ears can hear. We live only by physical laws of the earth, and disregard inherent metaphysical laws and quantum physics that transcend time, space, and dimension.

And so we become disempowered to affect change in our lives that leave us aligned in our emotions, mindset, and in body, mind and spirit.

Today, I’m totally tapped in. And never before have I felt such open lines of spiritual communication. No longer do I feel my prayers go unanswered, or that life happens to me. I’m in control in a sense, that I can affect change in my life, just so long as I stay detached from how the outcome. It’s like a game we all play, but it’s way more fun if you know the rules.

I learned to play the game so well that I made it my life purpose: to teach women like you the rules of this game of life – and how to use the natural laws of the Universe to empower yourself, so you can design a life you love. You also have the power to end the self-sabotage and stop being stuck, so you can start getting what you want out of life.

And know that you can do it being 100% authentic, be vulnerable and share your truth, and not hide behind your past. You can have what you want in life without resorting to low vibration methods like using sensuality as a social currency, people pleasing others, being jealous of others, compromising your values or self-respect to succeed, or degrading your self-worth to advance yourself in relationships, business, or career.

Trust me, I’ve tried at least a dozen or so low vibration methods – in the long run, it just doesn’t work. Karma will make sure of it. 

SO, assuming you want to manifest in a way that aligned with your good values like honesty and integrity, in a way that doesn’t come back and bite you in the you-know-what, follow the Laws of Attraction, and trust in your ability to manifest what you desire for your life. Start demonstrating that trust in the small decisions you make on a daily basis, and watch your life start to shift in a way that brings you so much more joy, abundance and freedom, more than you could ever imagine.

Law of Non-Resistance

For this Universal law, just remember this: what you resist, persists.  Go with the flow, trust Spirit, and detach yourself from the outcome of your desires, and Doing so will it will lose its power against you. Release the notion that you have enemies, frenemies, or curses. Neutralize these false beliefs that bad things happen, and instead believe that every life experience you have is meant for your higher and greater good. By sending only love towards a situation, you void it of its power.

Law of Abundance

To achieve abundance, you must first declutter all the thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions that block you from vibrating at the same frequency as abundance. This could include social decluttering in relationships, people at work that make you feel uncomfortable, cleaning out low vibration white noise and distractions in your life, both offline and on the internet. Or it could mean letting go of physical things that take up space in your life. I have a rule of thumb: if I haven’t used it in a year, it gets thrown away, given away, or sold.

Also, examine your abundance mindset: do I hold a subconscious belief that I’m not worthy to receive more? Many people are unaware that their mindset is keeping them from having more in life. Work on shifting those beliefs, and you will start to see things change in your life. You want a raise or a bigger home? Do you really believe you are worth it? Struggling to find a soul mate with qualities you want? If you keep attracting the wrong guys, it is most likely the Universe showing you a mirror of what you believe about yourself.

After decluttering and clearing out limiting self-beliefs, you’ll want to start demonstrating trust to receive. This means setting a clear intention of what you want, and taking bold action to prove to the Universe you’re serious.

It may mean stepping out of a comfort zone. Or it could mean you will have to stop pleasing others, and speak your truth. You will know what is right for you. It WON’T feel comfortable at first, but then you’ll feel amazingly powerful – and that’s a good sign you’re in the right direction.

After demonstrating you’re serious by taking clear, bold action, then you’ll want to get support by people who root for you and lift you up, and do whatever it takes to be consistent. Consistency is the magic ingredient for cooking up new ideas and making your dreams a reality. Stay on track!

And one day, you will wake up in the morning and realize that your life is completely different. You’ll start your day with gratitude, and feel empowered, knowing you are in the driver’s seat in your life, and you have the powers as a Modern Goddess to change course at any time. 

How to Release Painful Emotions

How to Release Painful Emotions

Hello Beautiful Modern Goddess!

I’ve missed you.  I’m back after a short sabbatical, a break used to get away, renew, and refresh the body, mind, and soul.

I’m feeling brand new. AND, I have some GREAT news…

I’m finally HEALED!!!

After three years and what felt like an eternity of almost constant pain, I no longer have that constant nagging aching pain in my lower back.  This pain started back in 2012 in my root chakra, when I began yoga teacher certification training. It got worse the more I tried to fix it. During that time, I tried so many alternative remedies, that I eventually gave up and had exploratory surgery in 2014.

No More PAIN.

I was so glad to finally have some relief! Shorter periods, no more heavy bleeding and a much tolerable cycle. But then, once the doctor cleared me for exercise, BAM.  Back to the ER I go, and I am back in a whole new world of pain: the pain shifted from my root to sacral chakra. Mother$#@!

It took bi-weekly acupuncture visits and months of chiropractic adjustments for me to realize that while the surgery fixed one thing, it “broke another” so to speak. Scar tissue. Son-of-a-gun.

Well, long story short, all that pain is behind me. I quietly surrendered to the pain, and intuitively knew that the only reason the pain persisted was because my healing wasn’t fully complete. Which really pissed me off when I was in the throes agony, curled up in a ball and crying on the bathroom floor, begging Spirit for relief. Then I began the healing process all over again. Rinse and repeat. I had been through this before, so I knew exactly what to do.

My answer:  continue working on releasing blocked painful emotions in my chakras, continue self-reiki healing, surrender to the possibility that for ALL the healing, growing, releasing that I had done in the past 3 years, I still had a bit more work to be done before my body had released all the pain I had experienced from birth up to my mid 20s. I still had yet another layer to peel back in the metaphorical onion of pain built up in my body from years of sexual, emotional, mental abuse I experienced early in life.  I’m honored and thankful for my entire journey, and I’m so happy to share what I’ve learned with you.

Where Do Your Painful Emotions Go?

Woman at coffee shop

When we experience pain, if you don’t process and release it with positive, loving intention, where does it go? Where does all that bottled up low vibration emotions and feelings of anger, rage, sadness, jealousy, depression go? NOWHERE. It stays RIGHT where you put it: in your BODY.  Everything in the Universe is energy. We all consist of not just the physical form we can see with our eyes, but also subtle energy – matter in the base form of molecules, vibrating at varying frequencies, speeds. Emotions are energy in the form of information – and we all have felt the full range of emotions. Love and excitement are high vibration emotions that lift you up and energize you, apathy or anger can pull you down. The negative, or low vibration emotions we feel in the mind gets trapped in the body, if we don’t process and release it.

How to Release Painful Emotions

If you’re feeling stuck in career, relationships, have money or health issues, or feel like your prayers are just not getting answered, these are all signs you could have blocked emotions. Lucky for you, I have the solution, a step-by-step system of how to release this stagnant energy and feel better, so you can live life to its fullest!

Body/Mind/Soul/Spirit Assessment

This is going to sound counter-intuitive, but give thanks for your pain. It’s our natural instinct to avoid pain, because it is so uncomfortable. But pain and discomfort – even dis-ease is how adults grow.  Only babies grow in comfort zones. Adults can too, but we are hard-wired to learn the most when we feel pain. Emotional and physical pain is energy in the form of information – valuable information we need in order to move forward. If we don’t have that information, how can we know what next step to take to make our lives better, to further our personal development and growth, or evolve into a higher level of consciousness?

I like to categorize problems in three major areas: Body, Mind, or Soul/Spirit.  So, for example, is it a physical issue you’re having? Is it mental/emotional, or is it a spiritual disconnect?

Body and Emotional Pain

Alternative medicine therapist using pendulum to make a diagnosis

Alternative medicine therapist using a pendulum to scan chakras for energy blocks

If it’s a Body emotional pain, like maybe you’re having constant headaches, stomach upset, or high blood pressure, then pinpoint what area of the body is affected.

From a physical standpoint, balance is achieved when you feed your body proper nutrition, get enough rest, body movement, water, sunshine, fresh air, and a natural outlet of creative self-expression. When you are out of balance, you no longer feel at ease in your body, you feel dis-ease.

From a subtle energy standpoint, that would tell you which chakra is blocked, and then you can get support with reiki, essential oils, crystals, meditation, or other resources in what I call the “Modern Goddess Life Toolkit” to release blocked energy in that specific chakra.

For example, if your root chakra is blocked, then you could wear more red clothing (a red scarf, red shoes, red earrings, etc.) as a form of color therapy. You could try flower essences, or essential oils such as bergamot, clary sage, lavender, or geranium to balance your root chakra. Getting some body work can be incredibly therapeutic: massage, reflexology, acupressure, acupuncture, even a hug or simple head rub can give you relief from emotional pain.  In fact, receiving regular body work is a basic part of self-care, and during times of emotional pain, you should give yourself permission to double, even triple your doses of TLC!

Want a learn more about balancing your chakras?
Head over to our Sacred Sisterhood of the Modern Goddess private Facebook group!

Sacred Sisterhood of the Modern Goddess

Mind and Emotional Pain

Woman with anxiety

Woman with anxiety

If it’s a Mind  emotional pain, like you’re self-sabotaging your efforts to save money by hitting up every sale at Nordstrom, or you’re trying to manifest abundance, but you feel jealous when you see other friends doing well, then you may have limiting or false beliefs. Or perhaps you’re constantly overwhelmed or stressed, and feel as if life has you on an emotional roller coaster.
Every thought we hold on a consistent level forms beliefs. We are taught what to believe by our parents, by religious leaders, by the school system, by media outlets such as movies, TV, CNN, and in the last decade, by internet-based social media like Facebook and Twitter.

All these beliefs makeup our intricate sub-conscious belief system. Interestingly enough, 20% of our thoughts come from our conscious, and 80% of our thoughts come from our subconscious. And most of the beliefs that get hard-wired into our brain are formed by the time we are 6 years old.

Barry Gordon, professor of neurology and cognitive science at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, wrote on Scientific American,  “Our awareness only sets the start and the end of a goal but leaves the implementation to unconscious mental processes.”

It seems that we are mostly running on autopilot, with our subconscious in the driver’s seat of our life, influencing our daily decisions and actions.  So, if you’re constantly eating ice cream and pizza when you KNOW you’re lactose-intolerant and gluten-sensitive, perhaps you’re not consciously self-sabotaging yourself, you just have a false belief that you don’t deserve to be fit and healthy, or maybe you are hiding from being your best self because you fear being in the spotlight if you finally no longer have weight as an obstacle.  Or maybe you’re addicted to online celebrity gossip because you feel you’ll never have a richly rewarding life.  Once those beliefs are formed, it takes a conscious effort to shift toward more positive, expansive beliefs that are aligned with what we truly desire in life. So, emotional pain that stem from mind challenges are best resolved by working on your belief system.

Emotions start in the body, and live in the body, unless we take action to process, heal, and release the emotions in the body.

Bodily topography of basic emotions

Bodily topography of basic emotions

Soul/Spirit and Emotional Pain

A casual young woman says a prayer with her hands held together. Shallow DOF, focus on the hands.

If you are experiencing emotional pain, or feel blocked in either the body, mind, or soul/spirit areas of your life, know that there is a reason for it. Be thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow. Instead of smothering, dismissing, or burying your emotional pain, give it your FULL, undivided attention. Use the resources around you to give you some comfort and relief as you go through it. Get the support you need from professionals who are trained and qualified to help you. Don’t rush the process, instead, surrender to it.  Suspend judgement, blame, and know this isn’t happening TO you, but rather, FOR and BECAUSE of you.  Lift your vibrations. Stay open to receive, absorb, expand, and heal.  Hang in there, Modern Goddess. You can and WILL get through this. 

Before you go, I have an update – more good news!

I’m Certified as a LifeForce Energy Chakra Healer!

Certificate of Chakra Wisdom Healing

As a part of my lifelong learning, I completed another stepping stone in my path towards Mastery in spiritual development, so I can be of better service you  – not just as a holistic Integrative Nutrition Health and Life coach, but also as a spiritual and subtle energy healer.  I am working behind the scenes to restructure the way clients can work with me, in a way that feels more soul-centered. I will soon announce my new offerings, that will include the following, to help you build a custom lifestyle blueprint, so you design a life you love, one where you feel sexy, rich, and powerful as a Modern Goddess.  Stay tuned for new Body+Mind+Soul private and group program coaching, and online programs that include:

  • Chakra, aura, and energy readings and assessments
  • Herbal and essential oil consultations
  • Reiki subtle energy healing for emotional and physical stress
  • Intuitive, spiritual coaching

Seal of Chakra Wisdom Healing

Venus Aviv

My secrets for a GREAT Salad

My secrets for a GREAT Salad

Can you believe it’s Monday already? And we’re already in February!

How was your Super Bowl Sunday? I only watched the halftime show, and I thought Katy Perry and Missy Elliott did a great job. Oh, and Lenny Kravitz was great too, but I’m all about girl-power, so I really enjoyed watching two beautiful women creatively express themselves in such a strong, powerful way. What an amazing show!

And I don’t know about you, but Monday morning came too soon, eh? Although I’m not a sports fan, I was busy all day yesterday. While Greg enjoyed the game, I got some household chores done, did some self-care, and even knocked out a couple of chores in my home office. I probably overdid it with the vacuuming – my back is sore, and in big need of some massage therapy!

But still, it was a really good weekend. And now it’s Monday morning, and I’m excited to get back to work, as I’ve got some exciting projects lined up for this year.

Well, anyway, back to the purpose of this email. I wanted to disrupt your Monday with a healthy recipe. It’s similar to the ones in my 28 Day Jumpstart To a New You program.

I love to make this recipe, and this is one of my family’s all-time favorites. And guess what? It’s 100% HEALTHY, EASY and DELICIOUS!

BLUEBERRY SMOOTHIE

Makes 2 servings

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 handful frozen or fresh organic wild blueberries
    1 banana
    1 tablespoon extra-virgin coconut oil
    1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    1 tablespoon hemp seeds
    1 tablespoon chia seeds
    1 pinch of cinnamon
    ½ cup to 1 cup hemp milk, almond milk, oat milk, or coconut water as your base
  • Optional: Stevia, or 1 tablespoon raw honey if you need to sweeten it. Add more water if it’s too thick.DIRECTIONS
    Put all ingredients into a high speed blender and blend until creamy (1-2 minutes).

AND…I didn’t forget about that salad.

My Secrets for a GREAT Salad

Here’s my secrets for making a GREAT salad:

  1. The trick to making a great salad is to always use FRESH, organic ingredients when possible.
  2. If I use organic pre-rinsed salad mix, I still rinse it again 2-3 times. I’m picky like that, but do what feels right.
  3. I never use pre-washed spinach – the chlorine water gives it a gritty texture that sticks to my teeth when I chew it.
    If you prefer spinach, grab the unwashed spinach, and when you get home, put it in a bowl of water and add a splash of veggie wash. Let it sit for a few minutes, and then agitate it with your hands to loosen the dirt and sand. Do this as often as you need, until your spinach is clean. I have been known to rinse my spinach 5-6 times, if it’s really caked with mud. And I love it when my veggies still have the dirt from the ground on it, it means it came straight from the farm to my kitchen!
  4. Rinse loose leaf greens in cold filtered water and use a salad spinner to discard excess water.
  5. Place loose leaf greens in a large bowl, and drizzle it with about 1-2 Tbsp of good quality organic extra-virgin cold pressed olive oil.
  6. Add a pinch of sea salt flakes. I prefer Maldon Sea Salt.
  7. Using a large wooden spoon, stir the salad until all leaves are well coated with the olive oil.  THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT – NEVER SKIP THIS STEP!!!
  8. Now you’re ready to add all your other salad fixings. I like to put my salad toppings in little serving bowls, and let my family members build their own salad.

Salad Fixing Suggestions:

  • Grab olives from Whole Food’s olive bar. Seriously, you can’t go wrong with anything there, but make sure to skip the olives that aren’t pitted. Your teeth will thank you.
  • Diced cucumber (peel off the skin first).
  • Diced green apple
  • Cherry tomatoes
  • Sliced heirloom tomatoes, topped with a finishing sea salt and fresh cracked black pepper, thinly sliced basil, drizzled with olive oil
  • Thinly sliced red, yellow and orange bell pepper (seeds and stem removed)
  • Orange slices (peeled, remove all seeds, pith, and skin)
  • Fresh chopped herbs like mint, basil, or cilantro
  • Chopped watermelon (goes well with mint and balsamic vinegar)
  • Thinly sliced red onion
  • Steamed peas, chickpeas, or black beans
  • Sliced avocado (my substitute for cheese, as I am lactose-intolerant)
  • Pumpkin seeds (pepitas)
  • Hard boiled egg
  • Splash of fresh squeezed lemon or lime juice

Enjoy!

 

Why All Women Need a Sisterhood

Why All Women Need a Sisterhood

When I was a little girl, my mom would have Fish Fridays and Tupperware parties, and it was so much fun to witness women gathering and laughing and bonding over food. That was their version of sisterhood.

I miss that.

 

Today it’s a different story.

Women today are so busy. I was just talking with a friend yesterday who admitted she was so busy, that she didn’t know if she could commit to 5 minutes of meditation per day.

When did life get so fast-paced and noisy, that we don’t hear that inner cry…we lost touch of our soul’s desire to just BE?

I think we have become distant to what our souls crave. Women crave deeper connections, both with ourselves and with our sister friends. We all have a need to connect to our soul. We all have a need for sisterhood and meaningful connections with other women. It’s our nature – we are hard-wired for connection. But we deny ourselves the right to be open and vulnerable with other women.  We distract ourselves by justifying the need to constantly be BUSY.

And it’s shows up in our lives.

Without slowing down for ourselves, without those sister-to-sister connections, we find ourselves going through the motions of life, disconnected from our true emotions. We silence our innermost desires, discount our feelings. We may have disconnect from ourselves and our sisters for so long that we don’t even recognize our true feelings…unnecessary feelings of shame, guilt, or hurt, feelings about people we allow in our lives, our careers, our relationships. Even feelings about our daily decisions for self-care, self-love, self-approval. We don’t discuss our feelings.

Another thing we women do: we put our needs last.

Why do women make everyone and everything else a priority?

Where did we learn that? When will we CHANGE that? It must start now.

We pat ourselves on the back for our grand accomplishments in career, our accumulation of the trappings of success: big house, fancy car, designer this and that. All that stuff is a big stroke for our ego. Yeah, it feels good to shop and buy nice things.  I LOVE the luxury of that good life. I can rattle of a few stores I would love to shop with wild abandon: Williams Sonoma, Nordstorm, Bergdoff Goodman, Sur La Table…

But on a higher conscious level, what does all that stuff do for our soulAbsolutely nothing.

Sure, I’ll take the nice things life can bring, but I won’t make the mistake of believing that will satisfy the depths of my soul. I won’t deny myself the trappings of success, because I believe we all deserve and have a right to abundance, whatever that looks like.

But at 42 years young , I want to be clear with my intentions to myself and The Universe that those things cannot come at the expense of my daily connection with my soul.

As I continue my spiritual journey, I look back on my life and take account. I think more and more about my core values, my core desired feelings, and I think about what matters most to me.

What Matters Most To YOU?

I imagine, at the end of my life in physical form,  I would want to have beautiful memories of me spending lots of fun times with other like-minded women, memories of me enjoying close connections, support, love, and sacred space with other soul-centered women. I know my late grandmother and mom certainly had plenty of great memories, as I grew up with a constant flow of women in our household.

Left to Right: My Aunt Trudell, My late grandmother Alvessie Mimms, My Aunt Joan, and my late mother Sandra Beth Mimms.

All Women Need a Sisterhood

Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers had tribes, our mothers had their version.  And for our generation, let’s face it, more and more of us spend time each week on social media. All women need a sisterhood. So that’s why I created the Modern Goddess Tribe group.

Modern Goddess Tribe

This Modern Goddess Tribe is a private community for women who wish to actively join a sisterhood, a modern-day tribe, of self-empowered, soul-centered women making positive change of health, wealth, and happiness for themselves and the world.  It’s is virtual for now, but I plan to soon create Modern Goddess Tribe retreats, both in the United States and eventually internationally. The retreats will be a fun time where women in this group can meet up, and show up for themselves, for each other. Retreats where we can dance, eat healthy, express ourselves, relax, and tap into our inner Modern Goddess!

We all need each other. I encourage you to make time to really connect with your fellow sisters. Let’s all stand in our truth, honor our need for deep soul-connection, and not shy away from satisfying our innate need for SISTERHOOD.  And I invite you to join the Modern Goddess Tribe!

Why I left the church

Why I left the church

I was just having a deep conversation the other day with another Holistic Health Coach and Reiki Energy Practitioner, and we were sharing our stories of why we left the church to instead choose a spiritual path. I was so moved by our stories, and how we radically changed our lives, that I decided to share my story with you. This is DEEP and very personal, so I thank you in advance for taking out time to read this.

{deep breath in, long exhale, and…here goes…}

Religion vs Spirituality
Why I left the church


In  my mid-20s, I was still on the heels of a very violent and messy divorce. I felt like every institution that was supposed to protect and serve me…FAILED me. This included an abusive ex-husband, a corrupt & toxic church, unsupportive family, apathetic friends, judgemental psychologists/therapists, and uncompassionate doctors. 

I felt completely and utterly ALONE.

I mourned the loss of my innocence through incest, date rape, and physical, emotional, and mental abuse at the hands of several men who I trusted. I was even molested by a doctor during a breast exam in college.

WHY did these things happen to me? Why was I alive? My emotions were low vibration, I had no self-confidence, and my spirit was broken. At one point I considered suicide, as I felt life was not worth living.

Another BIG question I had was, WHY did the Church fail me? Where was GOD when I needed HIM? 

I had grown up in the church, had served as Youth Leader, Bible School Teacher, I served in the church Drill Team, Choir, Christmas and Easter plays, volunteered for countless events. It was a part of my life. But where did all my dedication to church membership get me?

At my core, I didn’t believe life was about suffering and discounting emotions, and that my prize would be when I got to heaven. I wanted to have a great life NOW, in THIS lifetime.

I continued to seek help and answers by digging even more into my faith. Prayers, Sunday School, Bible School, Church Revivals, the works.

It was only when the pastor of the church I attended tried to sexually assault me…and my mother told me once again to “turn the other cheek” that I finally said ENOUGH. I made a very difficult decision to leave the church, and I never looked back.

Again, I was alone…but not lonely. The difference was because I had discovered the laws of metaphysics, the laws of attraction, meditation, and how to tap into my intuition.

Reiki Energy Healing

I learned how to protect myself, my energy, and how to avoid toxic people, toxic environments, and toxic situations. I learned how to navigate my way back to happiness and overall health and wellness by connecting my body, mind, and spirit.  I studied books, listened to audiotapes. I fully immersed myself into emotional healing and spirituality.

And the biggest surprise…I felt CLOSER to God more than ever before, certainly much more than I ever did when I was a loyal church member. 

Yoga at summit

I purged my social life. I purged my diet of low vibration foods. I released negative thinking, and embraced living a high vibration life. This new way of life brought me so much joy, even helped me stay grounded during times when life rocked me to my core.

I couldn’t label what it was back in my 20s, this new path I forged for myself. All I knew was that in order to continue living and actually WANT to be alive on this earth, it had to be worth it to me.

I actually made a wager with GOD. I remember that day clearly, I was driving along 290 Hwy in the rain, and screaming, crying, wailing, knowing no other way to express the hurricane of volatile, painful emotions welling up in my chest, my soul cried out to GOD, WHY AM I HERE?!? God, if you want me to stay on this earth, you have got to give me a reason. You have got to make this work. I want to feel GOOD in life, otherwise, why stay here and continue to suffer?

God ANSWERED!!!

Now, I can’t tell you I heard a clear voice speak back to me. That would have been WAYYYY cool. But NOPE. 

But I did feel this sudden shift in my body, from an eternal heartache and yearning in my gut, to a goosebumpy warm & fuzzy feeling in my whole body. I felt the hairs raise on the back of my neck, and a sense of peace washed over me. I felt COMFORTED in my soul…and I knew my prayer had been answered. And I’ve been respecting my inner introvert, protecting my energy, honoring my boundaries, and listening to my intuitive nudges (our intuition is our God-given internal GPS) ever since.

A thought surfaced, “Hang in there. Trust me, the good stuff is coming. Your life WILL Get better” I know this was God speaking to me, letting me know everything would be okay. And in that moment, I decided NOT to drive my car of Highway 290 to plunge to my death. I decided to LIVE. I decided to not just live, but to do WHATEVER IT TOOK to live abundantly, fabulously, authentically – a life that I LOVED.

Today, I know that back then, on that fateful day, I chose SPIRITUALITY over ORGANIZED RELIGION, and that decision has served me well. 

Let me be clear, I’m not saying all organized religion is bad. Nor am I saying everyone should leave organized religion. If it’s working well for you, great! Continue doing what is aligned with your beliefs – that is, afterall, the definition of happiness.  I am absolutely positive I made the best decision for me, and I mutually respect others’ choices regardless of their religion/spiritual path of choice.  We all are on this path of enlightenment and higher consciousness together.

But if you’re going to church every Sunday, praying and paying tithes, fellowshipping, diligent about Bible Study and the like, but you still feel disconnected from happiness, can’t seem to turn things around, feel like you’re constantly in survival mode, running emotionally, mentally on fumes, and just feel EMPTY, then perhaps looking at learning new tools to fully connect with God could be the answer to those questions in your head.

I’m not suggesting you leave church, your experiences are unique to you. I’m suggesting there are many paths to God. I’m saying maybe it’s time to consider another way of approaching your faith, another way to achieve oneness with God, and get clear direction.

So Where Do I Start?

If you want to start your spiritual journey with me in 2015, I have a few options you can choose from:

MEDITATION

My 28 Day Spiritual Cleanse program starts January 11th, and this is a great way to start your spiritual journey. It focuses on connecting to God through meditation. It’s not a religious program, but it can definitely be incorporated into any religion, because while many churches focus on prayer, which is speaking to God, there’s not a lot of education on meditation, which creates silent sacred space for God to speak back to you.

You could be praying for the same thing over and over, and never hear God’s answer if you don’t meditate!

Follow your core desired feelings in my

DESIRE MAP WORKSHOPS

I also encourage you to take a look at my new venture in helping empower women with spiritual tools to live a better life – my new Desire Map workshops page. 

My first workshop begins January 30th, and I would love to have you join in! Register soon, as seats are limited in this exclusive event!

PRIVATE COACHING

Work With Me
If you feel like private one-on-one coaching is better for you, then I still offer private coaching.  I’ll be opening up more coaching slots, so if you don’t see a time slot that works for you, reply to this email and let me know, and we can work something out.

Share Your Thoughts!

I’d love to hear from you – and yes, I read EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE to my blogs! 🙂

I want to know:

  • What’s your plan to make 2015 your best year ever?
  • How do you approach spirituality vs religion for your life?

Big Love,

photo
Venus Aviv, CHHC, AADP
Life Transformation Coach & Reiki Energy Healer
       
Eat Seasonal Winter Foods to Keep You Healthy

Eat Seasonal Winter Foods to Keep You Healthy

Eat Seasonal Winter Foods to Keep You Healthy

I know how you feel.  It’s cold outside, and all you want to do is hibernate, watch Netflix, and eat pizza.  Well, I’m your voice of reason, asking what you want when  January comes along, and everyone is full of regret and Googling “detox”.  You can have your metaphorical “cake and eat it too!” Stay healthy with my Seasonal Winter Foods List, and enjoy a slim & trim holiday season.
As fall comes to a close, most people are squeezing in as much shopping for the holiday season as they can to avoid the last-minute rushes at their local stores.  It’s also the start of the holiday season, which means lots of calorie-laden foods, like egg nog, turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, and cookies.
For many, this means weight gain. 
Many people also start going into hibernation mode come dropping temps. They eat heavier foods.  They gain (more) weight. They cozy up and hunker down.   There are numerous holiday parties that start after Thanksgiving leading up to Christmas. Work parties, family parties, drinks with your girlfriends, neighborhood potlucks, Yankee swaps.  The list goes on. And just when you think it will slow down, Christmas arrives, leading you into New Year’s Eve, and topping it off with Valentines Day.

Holy more weight gain! Continuous months of indulging and mindless eating and drinking.  So, how are you going to handle the arrival of winter?  Fear not. Winter is a great time to detox, leading into the lightness of spring.  Don’t forget to get your vitamin D.  The days get their shortest come winter.

Researchers at Aberdeen University found that obese people had 10% less vitamin D than people of average weight. The study also found that excess body fat absorbed vitamin D so the body couldn’t use it. Scientists now believe that there is a direct correlation between obesity and low levels of vitamin D. With that, get out there, even in the cold, and get your sunshine, if only for 10 minutes per day.  Move your booty and continue exercising regularly. It can be as simple as taking a walk out in the snowy terrain. Sometimes you may not feel like it due to the cold weather, but hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.

Enjoy winter foods. Move toward the more warming winter foods and also emphasize the more warming spices and seasonings including ginger and peppercorns.

Here is the Seasonal Winter Food List:

Avocado, Beets, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cabbage, Carrots, Cauliflower, Celeriac, Celery, Chicory, Endive, Escarole, Fennel, Grapefruit, Horseradish, Jerusalem Artichoke, Kale, Kiwi, Kohlrabi, Kumquats, Leeks, Lemons, Mandarin Oranges, Onions, Oranges, Parsnips, Pears, Persimmons, Potatoes, Radicchio, Rutabaga, Satsumas, Shallots, Sweet Potatoes, Tangerines, Turnips, Winter Squash*

Enjoy them all.  Try new things.

Just remember, don’t let the couch lure you into curling up with the unhealthy comfort foods like creamy dairy-based soups or gluten-based pastas. There’s plenty of dairy-free, Paleo-friendly cream soup recipes on Pinterest, and most grocery stores carry a few options of gluten-free or grain-free pastas.

*These were found using the following link, where you can learn more about seasonal produce: http://localfoods.about.com/od/whatsinseason/a/WinterFruitVeg.htm

Does Getting Good Advice Really Work?

Does Getting Good Advice Really Work?

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Does Getting Good Advice Really Work?

As a health and life coach,   You’ve heard the sayings:

There’s no shortcut to losing weight. Eat light & healthy. Exercise frequently. Get good sleep. Burn more calories than you consume. Balance work and play. Manage your stress levels.

I could go on. And there’s good advice everywhere.  We get advice from our family, friends, our doctor. We read health tips from magazines, and from the Self Help section of the bookstore. We are subscribed to emails and blogs (like this super awesome blog post you’re reading now! ). We even see all kinds of inspirational quotes, funny memes, and good tips on all the social media sites: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, and the like.

But let’s get honest here: what is all that good advice really doing for us? If we really do take heed and make changes, does it last for very long?

I’m gonna guess that’s also a big fat NO. Well, it’s not because you’re not one smart cookie. It’s because real change doesn’t happen at the conscious level, because conscious thoughts are not what drive us to take positive action for REAL change in our lives. No, that’s not the way it works, my sweet Goddess.

I’m about to share something with you that I paid thousands of dollars in high-level coaching programs to learn:

There is a 1:1 relationship between our core beliefs and our actions.

For example, let’s say you really want to stop smoking, but every day around 2pm like clockwork, you find yourself standing outside your workplace, lighting up a new one.  Maybe you’ve tried all kinds of herbs, potions, and patches, but nothing seems to stick. Inevitably, despite your best efforts, you are drawn to cigarettes like moths to a flame.  You’ve tried meditating, distracting yourself with trying new habits, but nothing works.

OR, maybe you’re addicted to donuts. Pizza (Cheese is actually more addictive than sugar. Go figure. ) Or maybe you hate to work out, even though you know you need to lose weight.

Well, regardless of what your addiction is, or what health goal you struggle with, you’re probably thinking it’s self-sabotage. Not necessarily. See, there’s actually NO SUCH THING as self-sabotage. From a holistic health perspective, we all love ourselves unconditionally, on a subconscious level.  And we serve ourselves by acting out 100% based on our core beliefs.

So, whatever it is that you experience in life is consistent with your core beliefs. And what is a belief? A belief is a thought you hold consistently. So how long does it take before a consistent thought becomes a belief? Well, my friend, it really depends on the person, and the space we create to allow shifts to happen. As a point of reference, it takes roughly 28 days to make or break a habit. Let’s start there and jump backwards, start at a base level; our thoughts. (I could go deeper than that, and get into your DNA, pre-birth events, alchemy, sacred soul contracts and such, but for now, we’ll just start with our thoughts.)

  • Over 90% of our thoughts are negative.
  • Thoughts form into beliefs.
  • Beliefs 100% drive our actions. Most beliefs we hold are firmly rooted by the time we’re 6 years old. We spend most of our life acting out on those beliefs.
  • Actions held consistently over 28 days either break old habits or form new habits.
  • Habits held over 3-6 months yield lasting, life transformation. And that’s the gold: blissful life transformation!

Some beliefs can change instantly. Some beliefs are so deeply rooted, from traumatic experiences, from personal struggles, societal messages, from family, from school, etc. What you experienced as a young child doesn’t just get locked away. Those early formative years, you were a sponge, making every little and big moment mean something about you, and how you relate to your world.

Well, what does that mean to you today? It means real change happens when you decide to change what you believe. It’s that simple. But…it’s not always simple to change, at least not on your own.  Sometimes you need help. The best help doesn’t always come in good advice from a book or magazine, or even from a friend or loved one.  You can even try telling yourself to believe something, but that doesn’t make you believe it. And that’s where coaching comes in.

THIS IS WHY I BECAME

A TRANSFORMATIONAL LIFE COACH

Because over the past 12 years, forasmuch as I was helping clients make real change in their lives, I wanted it to STICK.  If I work with a client and they come back to me with the same problem, I knew their fundamental beliefs hadn’t changed. And I needed the tools to help my clients bridge the gap between knowing and doing…long-term.  And now I have those tools, using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and other belief-changing coaching tools via Transformational Coaching. That’s where the REAL work is done. That’s where we must focus our attention.

Now, back to the cigarettes. I know for sure there’s that whole addiction thing. That’s real. But biochemistry aside, there’s another level going on here: a belief that in order to stop smoking, I must give up XYZ. And what is XYZ? Well, it depends on the person. That could be the friends or coworkers who also take smoke breaks – what will they think? What will they say? Will they still accept me as a peer? Will I still fit in? Questions like these represent Life Ecology, or what we think we have to trade in order to have what we want.

The power of ecology is strong, and a bigger motivator than most realize. And unless you are able to really dig deep and find out what hidden beliefs lurk in the subconscious of your mind, you will continue to blame your lack of progress or change on self-sabotage. And the blame game will serve you well in terms of making you feel bad. But blame and guilt will never help you make change. And the sad thing is, most people carry blame and guilt as if there is valor in suffering. But at the end of the day, it’s just a waste of time and energy.

One more thing…when it comes to getting advice, especially unsolicited advice (isn’t that always fun?) from family, friends and colleagues:

Most People Listen to Respond,

Not To Understand.

I am always able to openly receive messages when I feel heard and truly listened to. I seek advice for things like how to resolve technical issues or Do-It-Yourself home care. But when it comes to making personal growth and shifts, I seek affirmation that I have the tools to figure it out.  I trust my own internal wisdom will reveal itself in the process. The best support is not telling someone what to do, but rather inspiring them with confidence to figure it out themselves – assume they already know the answer. This is how I approach my work, I assume the client knows the answer, it’s my job to ask the right questions and use coaching techniques to support them in releasing false non-serving beliefs, and create space for developing new beliefs that support their deepest desires.
Okay, in the spirit of the upcoming holidays, let’s wrap this up and put a big bow on top, shall we? Here’s what I’ll leave you with:
Invention is the Mother of Necessity. And pain is the best motivator. But unless your Core Beliefs and Life Ecology (what you give up to change) supports change, it won’t happen.
-Venus Aviv
How to change:
  1. Instead of seeking advice, get quiet and learn to trust your intuition  – Meditating is a great way to do this.
  2. Stop focusing on what you DON’T want (by complaining), instead, focus on the end goal/what you DO want.  Speak it. Write about it. Visualize it. FEEL it. The metaphysical law of attraction holds that you get put your energy and focus on. Focus on your problems, and you’ll naturally attract more of the same. Focus on how you want to feel, and you’ll attract more of that.
  3. Release the guilt and blame. Self-sabotage isn’t real, and feeling bad is a waste of time and energy.
  4. Pay attention to your actions, they hint at your real Core Beliefs.
  5. Be honest with yourself about your Life Ecology – what are you REALLY willing to give up to change?
  6. And (of course, you knew this was coming) talk with a Transformational Life Coach to work on releasing old false beliefs that no longer serve you, so you can create space for creating new positive affirming beliefs. Then, your actions will align with your Core Beliefs, and you will start to experience real, lasting change to reach your health & life goals. Viola!

I’d love to hear from you! Where are you stuck in life? Do you have a story of how getting good advice has NOT worked for you?

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I’m Living in High Definition

I’m Living in High Definition

I feel like I’m living life in high definition

Beautiful crystal gemstones

Beautiful crystal gemstones

I’m so amazed at how reiki has changed the way I experience day to day normal activities. I already knew that I am an Empath and a Highly Sensitive person. But since I completed my recent Reiki I, II, and III training earlier this year, I’ve noticed my intuitive, sensitive abilities have sharpened – it’s like someone turned on the volume and I feel things much more than ever before. The great thing is that although I’m picking things up more easily, I’m not absorbing any of it, because I now have a way to protect myself from other’s energies, or to quickly release it if I do. This has  been a total positive experience.

2014-04-12 11.08.26

My Reiki Crystal Grid – Reiki III ART Class

In Reiki III training, officially called “Advanced Reiki Training” or ART, we learned about the healing powers of crystals.  We each received our personalized reiki crystal grid, an arrangement of various crystals, and charged the stones with energy and positive intention. I’ve been using my grid regularly, as a sacred altar, a place where I go to meditate and pray.

The crystals and stones act like an amplifier of your intentions, echoing them back to you and into the Universe. So it’s like, if you’re speaking to the Universe and sending positive vibrations for your desires, speaking your intention opens the door, and these crystals and stones help turn up the volume to get the message across loud and clear.

At least, this is how I like to view it.

I recall a couple of months ago, I was talking with a woman I had just met, and I said something and turned my back, and I felt an immediate shift in energy coming from her behind me.  I turned around and asked her if she was thinking about a bad memory and she said Yes!

A few weeks later, I was eating out with my husband and picked up a weird energy from an older man sitting next to us. I didn’t say anything until after me and my husband were riding in the car heading away from the restaurant. I told my husband Greg the weird vibes I was picking up, and he confirmed he picked up the same vibes! This man never said a word to us, but I felt the man’s energy, and I didn’t like it. Hubby didn’t either.

The Power of Subtle Energy is REAL

My Reiki Crystal Grid

My Reiki Crystal Grid

I truly believe in the power of subtle energy, and that paying close attention to our emotions serves us well. It provides valuable information that helps us navigate the waters of life. I can’t wait to see where this path leads me. I have had so many other moments like this in the past few months, too many to count. Like mothers asking me to watch their babies – women who’ve never met me before.  Moments of synchronicity where I feel what someone is feeling, without them speaking the words.  Or strong intuitive nudges to go in a completely OPPOSITE direction, even when there’s no clear and logical visible evidence to support it.  And those intuitive nudges are always right.

I’m loving this new perspective on life, it’s like I went from Standard Definition to High Definition TV!

I’d love to hear from you!  Have you turned the volume up or gone from fuzzy to crystal clear in your life recently? What initiated the shift? What is your biggest takeaway?